You are not alone!

 It's okay, not to be okay...

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My year has not been the best. Right at the beginning of the year, I got out of a narcissistic (emotionally abusive) relationship. On top of that, I started my matric year, on the 1st of January, when we got schoolwork for the first time this year. Needless to say, I could not seem to get it right, so my already low self-esteem got even lower.


This was a very difficult time in my life, and looking back, I honestly don't know how I got through it. Then in March, I unexpectedly lost my foal to African Horsesickness. Let's just say, my year never seemed to get better:

On the 27th of August, my eldest horse passed. Even though I thought that I would not be able to handle this loss, his age made it bearable. 

Two weeks later, we had a horrible accident, and I lost my stallion. I'm still trying to come to terms with this loss. I am mad at God. It is like my dreams died along with him.


While all of this was happening, I got diagnosed with reactive hypoglycemia (basically early diabetes). 


Yes.

It has been hard. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I am tired all the time, and I have no motivation, to do anything whatsoever. This is not me. I am the first person to get up after I have fallen. Suddenly I can't find the strength. 


(I know that I have a matric  final to study for, but I can't get myself far enough to do that)


Basically, if this is you, do not feel alone. It is okay not to be okay. 


When you are on your knees, God will send his angels to protect you. They will shield you until you have the strength to lift one knee. Then they will help you up, and support you until you are ready to stand on your own two feet again.


I don't have all the answers. Just know that you are not alone.

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